Yesterday while I unloading the stroller out of the minivan at the grocery store, a woman walked by and said, "It gets easier." I guess I looked at her strangely because she went on to say that she had two-year old twins. I wanted to tell her that after surviving 12 months of pure hell, nothing could be easier than my life now.

So maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but the first year really was rough. Yet now after enjoying a mere two months of sleeping through the night, the horrors of the first 12 months are starting to fade. It's amazing what a little sleep can do for a mom on the edge.

For the first time ever, we have a schedule. Several days during the week, Matt and Will actually take a nap. I mean, I have to pinch myself sometimes to see if I'm dreaming! I get work done, I run errands, I fix meals, I read books, I work out, I have dinner with friends, I go to church. My life has done a complete 180 in just two short months. It's indescribable how wonderful that feels. I will never again take for granted my ability to sleep uninterrupted for more than 30 minutes at a time.

The Camera Loves Matt

I've apparently been favoring Matt lately, because all of my photos seem to be of him and not Will. Oops! That's a huge twin mom faux pas. Here are some recent favorites of Matt mainly:

Chris gave Matt the "Steve Urkel" look and he felt so self-conscious. Even though high-waisted pants are coming back into style, Matt wants none of it!

Here's Matt plowing the living room floor while Will steers.

Matt has been crawling under furniture lately to find his missing racquet balls.

Matt has very good taste in water, just like his mom.

One Year Photos, Two Months Late

Matt and Will

Matt

Will

Mom loves her boys

I'm that kind of mom

One of my friends recently sent me an e-mail thanking me for not being one of "those moms" who share every achievement about their child- like going pee pee in the potty. Who knows how I'll act in the midst of potty training. I'm not there yet, but let me share where I am right now.

Matt and Will were a little fussy tonight, so after dinner we immediately started running their bath so we could get them to bed. We filled the tub a little too high and when I was putting Will in, he slipped a little and went face first into the water. Tears ensued as they usually do with Will. Chris grabbed Will and I lunged for the drain to let some water out. I slipped and was headed face first for the water but caught myself on the faucet. It scared our already emotional guys, and they started screaming. When I caught myself on the faucet I accidentally hit the hot water which started running. I also knocked the handle off somehow. So now the scalding hot water (it's instant- gotta love it) is filling the tub near my screaming sons and I can't get the handle back to turn it off.

Some peace returns when I get the water turned off and we start bathing the boys. There were still some tears, but everyone settled down. When I took Matt out of the tub, I cuddled with him extra long before getting him into a diaper and PJ's. I did the same for Will. I was holding him close, telling him how sorry Mommy was for scaring him and how much I love him when I feel warm liquid seeping all over the front of me.

Potty training? At this point I'd be happy if they would just go in their diapers.

Matt's two front teeth


Will showing off for the camera

Another week closer to high school graduation

We had a nice Father's Day with Matt and Will. We got to church only a few minutes late and signed the boys up for the nursery. After they scan them in and print off name tags (which are affixed to their backs), you take your babies to their "room" and wait for a volunteer to come get them. There were two volunteers with the "crawlers" and one of them came over to get the boys. She took Matt from me and walked across the room to set him down with another baby. He immediately began to protest, so she scooped him back up, walked over to us and said, "well, I can't hold BOTH of you at the same time!" I just had to chuckle. She was obviously not a twin mom.

The boys were super in the nursery and I kind of paid attention to the service, but I kept looking at the screen that flashes your child's ID in case you need to come to their rescue. The greatest thing about the nursery was that by the time we got home from church, the boys were asleep so we plopped back into bed with them and all took a nap. It doesn't get any better than that!

We decided it was time to get the boys their first basketball goal, so that afternoon after a dip in their blow-up pool the boys got to show off their skills. They've got a lot of work to do. Once Will gets the basketball in his hands, he refuses to give it up. Chris was practically shaking him over the basket in order for him to score. Matt is a serious goal tender and was such a show-off hanging onto the rim.

Will is walking when he feels like it. He took dozens of steps on Father's Day but then refused to walk for the following two days. I have 10 video clips of coaxing him to come to me, and all he does is drop to his knees and crawl.

Matt is back to his biting stage. He tends to do this when he's teething. Apparently, his favorite teether is a very unwilling Will and he's got a nice bite mark on his face to prove it. These are the times that I dream about the day they graduate from high school.

A Mother's Love

I have been reflecting on motherhood so much lately. Perhaps it is because our babies are turning into toddlers right before our eyes. Matt and Will are changing so much and it seems as though it is happening all at once. Will is taking dozens of steps at a time, although only when he is in the mood and definitely not when there is a camera involved. Matt seems to cut a new tooth every other day- we're up to 5- and he prefers to use them on both his brother and me. We turned their car seats around to forward-facing yesterday which means they are both finally 20 pounds. They are eating 3 solid meals a day and using sippy cups at each of those meals. Today they had three meals, a snack and 4 bottles. I promise all I did today was feed boys and clean up from feeding boys. What a life!

I can remember lots of conversations with my Nana about my mom. My mom is the epitome of a mother. She is innately nurturing, loves unconditionally, would sacrifice all for her children, is kind-hearted, can bake a mean chocolate cake- the list could go on and on. I never understood why my mom would give and give and give to me even when she had nothing left to give. My Nana would always tell me that I would understand this type of love when I became a mother. I always kind of brushed that remark off because of course I understood love. Well as usual, my Nana was right.

I was totally unprepared for how I would one day so completely love Matt and Will. Of course I loved them from the minute they began to resemble human beings on the ultrasound, but my love for them did not reach the "heart being ripped from your chest" type love until we brought them home from the hospital. I read a quote once about a mother's love and it was described as watching your heart walk around outside of your body (or something like that). It is so true. And what surprises me most is that I- a cynical, sarcastic, tough love type woman- am completely capable of overflowing with love for my children.

Happy Father's Day

It feels like this is the first Father's Day with Matt and Will, but it's not. It's just that I can't even recall what happened at this time last year. All I know is that Chris and I were in a fog of sleep-deprivation and were just working on auto-pilot to get through each day. That's pretty much how the first year went for me.

It seems like an eternity since that time. Our lives are slowly returning to some sort of order and routine. The day is filled with bottles, meals, clean-up, play, tantrums, laughter and bed-time rituals. Our lives have changed so much from the selfish ways of our first 7 years of marriage. Matt and Will now dictate everything we do. There is no more sleeping in, no more spur of the moment dinners out, no more uninterrupted TV viewing, no more late nights at the office. Our evenings used to be so easy, so relaxed. Now when Chris walks in the door it's like a mad dash to get them in bed at the right time. Get the sippy cups! Put on bibs! Cut up sweet potatoes! Run the bath water! Fix the bottles! Read the book! Say nighty night!

When the boys are finally in bed we then have to return the house to some sort of order- pick up toys, wash down high chairs, wash bottles and sippy cups, clean up the bathroom and do laundry.

What I love about Chris is that he does all of this, day in and day out, without complaint. He's not the kind of dad who walks in from a long day at the office and retreats to his recliner. He comes home ready to play, feed, and bathe. Sure he may not wash bottles, but he definitely knows how to mop a floor!

All I know is that I cannot imagine parenting Matt and Will without Chris. He's more wonderful a father than I could have imagined, and Matt and Will are blessed to be able to call him Dada. Happy Father's Day Chris!